Resentment is a complex emotion that can become preoccupying and damaging. It can be tempting to hold onto resentment, but doing so has lasting consequences: strained relationships, declining productivity, and negative impacts on your mental and physical health. Here’s how to diffuse any resentment you might feel for your colleagues.

Pinpoint the source. Start by identifying what’s truly causing your resentment. Ask yourself if unmet expectations, unclear boundaries, or perceived injustices are at the root. Knowing the source will help you address it effectively.

Step outside yourself. Try viewing the situation from different perspectives. Are you making assumptions that might cloud your view? Reflecting can reveal constructive actions you can take.

Focus on solutions. Use resentment as a signal for needed change. Whether setting boundaries or adjusting expectations, taking proactive steps can ease frustration.

Communicate constructively. Have open, honest conversations to resolve any misunderstandings at play. Using nonjudgmental language and focusing on specific actions can make these talks productive and solution-oriented.

Let go. If nothing changes, practice forgiveness—for your own well-being. Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring your needs. But it may free you from negativity and help you foster healthier relationships at work.
This tip is adapted from “5 Strategies to Help You Manage Resentment for a Colleague,” by Dina Denham Smith.
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