Leading through tension is part of being a manager, but you don’t have to go into emotionally charged meetings unprepared. Here’s how to stay grounded and guide high-stakes conversations with clarity and composure.

Visualize the meeting in advance. Picture the setting, the people involved, and how you want to feel walking out. Mentally rehearse how you’ll open the discussion, handle tension, and steer toward resolution. Anticipate challenges and plan calm, confident responses.

Reframe your mindset. Focus on the positives. Before the meeting, reflect on what you appreciate about the individuals involved or what good outcomes could come from the conversation. This small shift builds emotional resilience and helps you approach the interaction with empathy and clarity.

Adjust the setup. Use the “Five W’s”—who, what, where, when, and why—to fine-tune the logistics. Who needs to be there? Should you bring in resources to support the conversation? What needs to be shared and what doesn’t? Where should the meeting take place, and what is the optimal time? Finally, why is this discussion important?

Build in buffer time. Give yourself 10 minutes before the meeting to get focused and 10 minutes after to reset. A short walk or quiet moment can help you stay composed and avoid carrying stress into your next interaction.
This tip is adapted from “How to Prepare for a Meeting Where Emotions Will Run High,” by Dina Denham Smith.
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