Becoming a better ally means being well-informed. And to be well-informed, you need to actively commit to both learning on your own and asking others thoughtful questions. Start by proactively educating yourself about other identities and lived experiences. Seek out well-sourced content, perhaps even researching mainstream organizations that educate the public on specific topics. The more you learn, the more you’ll be able to act with confidence as an ally to people who are in marginalized groups due to their race, gender, religion, or other dimension of identity. Next, in order to be a great question-asker, it’s important never to assume that someone is an expert on every element of their identity—or that they’re willing to share their thoughts and feelings with you. Only ask questions if it’s clear the person wants to bridge the gap between their experience and yours, or if they’re a close friend with whom you share a lot of trust. Finally, think hard about what information you’re looking for and why. Ask with humility, listen carefully, and respect their privacy.
This tip is adapted from “How Much Do You Need to Know to Be an Ally?,”by Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow
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