When change is constant, many leaders default to saying yes to unreasonable requests and goals, afraid that refusal will damage their credibility. But this can lead to burnout, poor execution, and declining trust on their teams. The best leaders practice strategic refusal: knowing when—and how—to say no. Here’s how.

Reframe refusal as prioritization. It’s not about what you can’t do—it’s about what matters most. Position your refusal as a leadership decision. For example: “To do X well, we’d need to pause Y” or “Let’s focus on the initiatives with the highest impact.” This shifts the conversation from resistance to results.

Show the cost of saying yes. Make trade-offs visible. Suggest hearing directly from teams, quantify resource limits, and offer realistic alternatives: “We can’t hit 40%, but we can deliver a sustainable 25% increase.” This keeps the conversation solutions-oriented.

Build a system that supports refusal. Strategic refusal shouldn’t fall on individuals alone. Assemble teams to stress-test initiatives before they’re approved. Run pre-mortems to surface risks early. Define “kill criteria” so projects don’t drag on past their usefulness. These steps reduce decision fatigue and promote consistency.

Model strategic refusal. Set the tone by using data to back your pushback. Focus on business risk, not bandwidth. This reinforces your credibility and teaches your team that smart refusal is strong leadership.

Adapted from When You’re Asked to Meet Impossible Goals by Luis Velasquez and Jordan Stark

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