Tough feedback can be hard to process, especially when it’s delivered poorly. Whether you receive feedback from your boss, peer, or employee that’s way too harsh, suspiciously nice, or somehow dishonest, how can you navigate your own emotions and respond productively? Start by figuring out how you’re feeling—and don’t judge yourself. Then take a step back to reconsider the substance of the feedback. Identify something helpful or constructive, even if it wasn’t communicated well. Then, reward the person’s candor. You might thank them for their honesty and, if you agree with their assessment, commit to an action plan that incorporates their perspective. Or, if you disagree with their feedback, respectfully explain why. Then, offer feedback on feedback: Communicate the impact of their delivery and how they might improve on it next time. Finally, take a step back and assess your relationship with this person. If they are unwilling to change the way they communicate next time, the relationship might not be worth saving.
This tip is adapted from “When Your Boss Gives You Bad Feedback, Badly,”by Kim Scott et al.
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