We’ve all been there: You’re mid-conversation, but the person you’re speaking to is only half-listening. Maybe they’re scrolling their phone, nodding absentmindedly, or giving you a distracted “uh-huh.” It’s frustrating, but instead of shutting down, try these steps to reset the conversation.

Pause and assess. Before reacting, take a breath and evaluate the situation. Are they distracted because of you, or is something else going on? This mental reset helps you respond strategically rather than emotionally.

Assume positive intent. It’s easy to take disengagement personally, but their distraction may have nothing to do with you. Instead of assuming disinterest or disrespect, give them the benefit of the doubt.

Re-engage with a question. Call their attention back to the conversation by using their name and asking an open-ended question: “What do you think?” or “How have you handled this before?” A well-placed follow-up—“Can you tell me more?”—keeps them engaged. If your counterpart is truly ignoring you, you can gently ask, “Hey, is everything okay? You seem distracted and I want to make sure nothing’s going on.”

Shift the energy. Change the rhythm if needed. Let silence linger, adjust your posture, or suggest moving to a different spot. A small shift in setting or tone can refocus their attention and reset the dialogue.
This tip is adapted from “When You Can Tell Someone Isn’t Listening to You,” by Allison Shapira.
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