Bullying in the workplace can take many forms, including bullying of managers by people who report to them. If you’re feeling targeted by an employee who’s circumventing your authority, spreading rumors about you, and undermining your status, how can you protect your mental health and your career? First, don’t give in to shame—someone else’s toxic behavior isn’t a reflection of your leadership. Next, resist the temptation to avoid your bully. Burying yourself in work, isolating yourself from important support systems, and downplaying the severity of the issue won’t help you in the long run. Confront the reality instead, starting by documenting exactly what’s going on. Having detailed notes will help you clarify the situation—both for yourself and HR, if you choose to escalate and pursue mediation. As you’re going through these steps, monitor your feelings. A professional coach or therapist can help you cope with your emotions and ensure you don’t snap at your bully, adding fuel to the fire and making the situation messier. Finally, prepare yourself to stand up to them. Remember, you’re still the boss, and you still have influence over your bully’s career. Confrontation and accountability could save their career from derailing when (not if) their behavior backfires—and more importantly, it will help you reestablish your legitimacy, confidence, and position of power.
This tip is adapted from “What to Do When a Direct Report Is Bullying You,”by Ludmila N. Praslova et al.
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