Working for an insecure manager can be incredibly demotivating. What should you do if you think your manager doesn’t trust you? Here are some tactics to change the tone of your relationship. First, you want your boss to think of you as an ally, not a rival, so look for small ways to signal that you’re not a threat. In a check-in, you might say, “I admire what you do and I’m hoping to continue learning from you,” or “I’m grateful for your guidance (on a specific issue).” Research has shown that genuine flattery and gratitude helps. Then, build trust by emphasizing how you’re both aligned. To do this, ask about their priorities and how you can best support those goals. You might say, “I want to be sure I understand what success looks like for you and that I’m doing what I can to contribute.” Sharing collective success will make your relationship less acrimonious. Finally, if the issue persists, have a frank conversation with them. You might ask, “Is there something I can do differently to improve our working relationship?” Be open to feedback. You might not agree with it, but by demonstrating a willingness to shift your approach, your boss will be more likely to do the same.
This tip is adapted from “Getting Along: My Boss Doesn’t Trust Me,” by Amy Gallo
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